This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project
I wanted to go somewhere really different, I didn’t have much tying me down at the time. I signed up to go, it was a very easy decision to make in theory - moving from Ireland to Singapore. It only started to dawn on me nearer the date that I was changing my life. Unfortunately I got into a relationship a month before I was going. When people said how do you feel about going, it really didn’t hit me. The night before it suddenly hit me - I was breaking up with my girlfriend and I got really emotional as I was changing my life so much. I was living out of a suitcase in Singapore for about a month before all my stuff got shipped over.
At first I had a singular view of Singapore that it was very Asian, because I was based in China Town - near all the Chinese medicine shops and traditional culture. I felt like a minority, especially on the subway - blond hair, fair, tall... later on once I started travelling around Asia I started to experience people looking at me or coming up to take pictures of me. I am photographed all around Asia with people’s kids - Indonesia, Malaysia, I was gawked at, taken photos of, followed around.
I got sick at the start because of the change in climate. I was by myself, I didn’t know anyone. Later on when I met other Irish people I got to know a few people, but at the start it was a bit emotional - for the first few months I had regrets and doubts.
I remember the first time when an Australian colleague took me to Robertson Quay, I realised I wasn’t SO alien - it was the first time I experienced an expat area. At lunchtime people split up into their language groups - French speakers, Indian speakers, Malay speakers - it suited me being a bit detached and I drifted between the groups, I didn’t have my own group.
The idea of race became very prominent to me. Before leaving Ireland I would never really have thought about race. Being there I noticed how people of other races spoke about race a lot - without having an anxiety about it. I realised what it was like to be faced with racial bias. That aspect of when people really blend in with each other and you stand out. Then I got over that. It was just an initial reaction where I felt a bit intimidated by standing out so much.
The guts of the first year I felt quite isolated - in fact I had wanted to go because I wanted to face that anxiety of being alone, I wanted to feel confident in being independent. So I didn’t mix with the Irish crowd at first. It was the first time I had lived alone, outside of my family’s house, I was detached from any comfort of family, it was the first time I would have ever gone to a bar on my own.
I think I achieved the learning experience of travelling by myself around Asia, learning how to be confident in being alone. One aspect of my journey which was difficult is that I met an American girl there, we got into a relationship 3 years ago. She had been to Trinity and had her own experience of living in Dublin before moving to Singapore. We moved in together and we were considering both moving to America in 2020. Unfortunately on a recent trip back to Ireland, my father had a seizure, which developed and he had a very aggressive form of brain cancer. So, I thought - well my journey is over now. I came back in April. It is strange because I was planning to stay, I feel like I have unfinished business - my girlfriend is still over there. You never know what will happen, you speak to your parents and you never know what news is going to come down the line.
The start and end of my journey are very different. The start and end are so different - the start is voluntary, and the end was because this really unexpected thing happened and kind of snatched me out of it. When I came back in my old bedroom, I felt like it was all just a weird dream. 4 years which maybe I dreamt. The person I was there, was a different person to who I was at home.